the Life.

His hands are wide open & i do not come. constantly, He is calling me, over & over & begs for me to look at Him; for me to at least turn around. but i ignore His beautiful voice. i desire more than anything to draw into His grace, His beauty, His everlasting, unconditional Love. but who am i? & why does He love me so? i've abandon Him, left Him, hurt Him, betrayed Him, still He calls for me.
i have watched myself accomplish everything He hates, & i did it before His eyes, knowing He is watching me. & so i continue for my own selfish need because this is everything i want, everything my disgusting flesh desires.
once i've torn myself apart & unable to stand, He saves me, again. so i surrender into Him, allow Him to comfort me. & once i'm healed, once again, i turn away, walk away, with out ever expressing my thanks.
i don't walk very far before i turn back around & run back into His arms, & He tells me He loves me. tears are streaming from His eyes & pouring out of mine. i begin to tell Him how sorry i am, how worthless i am, how selfish i am. so then He takes His nail scarred hands, wipes my tears, & tells me, i am worth His life.