The hole in my left sock.

I have a hole in my left sock on my middle toe. I don’t know how many times I have put this sock on this exact foot & how I just catch myself smiling every time I see the little toe peeking out. I don’t know why I haven’t patched it. It is my favorite pair of socks & I don’t know what it is that stops me from putting a needle to the gaping hole created by my toe, created by me. Created by being uncaring, free willed, and ignorant; refusing to see that the sock I wear is slowly wearing away & I am too self absorbed to realize that the cloth protecting my foot is slowly dying.

Still day to day I put the sock back on to my foot, always realizing the hole is still there. Maybe I don’t patch it because I’m afraid. Afraid that if I close all holes, I will have no where to go, there won’t be an escape. I will be trapped & forever suffocated in my sock. Suffocated in my life, afraid that if I decide to let the needle touch the broken thread, I will never be freed.

Or maybe I’m too afraid that if I do parch it, the threads will only break again, & once again be broken, like I am. Like the way I believe that the sock will fail me once again. Once again it will break, once again it will expose me to the cold, so why bother, I’d rather just stay there now instead of getting my hopes up. The hopes I once had when I first put the sock on my foot and felt the war comforting, and safe sensation; that feeling that nothing could break this seal, the hard woven, unbreakable thread. The fine pieces so tightly held together, nothing could break it.

Until one day, I magically pulled off my shoe & there was the toe exposed out to the outside world. The sock failed me. It ripped, it tore, and left my defenseless toe in the cold, exposed to the deceitful world.

It broke its promise and my heart.

Still for some unknown reason I still wear the same sock on the same foot

I always think about maybe patching up the gaping hole, but I keep putting the idea to the back of my head, even when it tries to push itself to the front, I always manage to push it back.

I finally gave in. my toe has been cold for far too long, and I thought maybe I could give the left sock on more try. So I patch the hold up with completely mismatching thread

And to this day, when I put the sock on, I smile, the thread hasn’t broken its promise this time.