the Body.

so take the Body and throw it out inot the pitts of nothing. do not allow the world to see the wounded flesh and clean blood spilt over the wooden floor. hide from Purity, expose to hate, and dwell in the dark. define yourself in lies, and share the mask with innocent sin. hate the unforgiving, love the hate, seek the pure to corrupt the calm. love yourself, hate yourself. live to die, die for nothing. look for Truth, find Peace, and loudly live in Love.

he loves me not

He told me he loved me today with paint over his face. And of course I believe him. But his love will only last him as long as he stands before me. And when he walks away, I will be forgotten along with my perfect smile. He told me I'm beautiful, wrapped me into his arms, and told me I was safe. But I can find no sign of truth in his beautiful words. I will continue to walk my imperfect path, in hopes of finding a lost trail. And I if I do find a lost trail, my feet will gladly follow its course. I hope to lose myself in it, and find an ending more amazing then words can describe. I will stay there with my One and Only. And if its all a dream, I hope never to wake.

good day, morning, night, idea.

So I woke up forgetting my kick. I changed my mind twice. I became scared when I couldn't find my secret. The Queen forgot her thoughts, but turned around to go find them. She said her goodbyes to me, and sent me off with indestructible love. I walked in to find all eyes on me, and my eyes closed to find themselves in peace hugging the sun. He caught me in the closet, using what he thought was his cloak. I gave it to him anyways, knowing it didn't belong to him. Now she is talking about God, and hiding Him with religion. She is confusing Him with thoughts, and directs Him into an ambiguous idea. She tells me I'm a liar, and He is just a spark. I'm tired of her annoying speech and hope soon that my words will leaver her scared with truth. Impatiently, I'm waiting, so I go swim with the fish.

Our short visit.

I was lying in bed with heartbreak the other night, and i was awakened to an utter dissapointment, by birds in my window. I coudn't understand myself, nor could I understand why so much desire ran through my mind. Later dissapointment showed up to say hello and walk away without a care in the world that I existed. No contact was made. Stupid me. I was not at all surprised that our aquaintence was so short. Neither was i upset, i was simply digusted that my heart was once touched. In my peace upon the clouds, birds were sent to me again with question on my pain. i choose to smile and send them back with olive branches insted of dried leaves. the brances were early prunned of course, but the birds did not know. i heard from them no more. i sent myself into darkness later to be awakened by the light. a new box of gifts was opened, and i was already prepared.

Lost in Love

I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I kept swirling, dreaming, and wishing around these impossible thoughts; and every time my heart nearly skipped a beat. I was completely lost. There could be no way to find me, until i found myself, and allowed the world to see my hidden secret. I was in love with him.

I knew that once I would be wrapped up in his incredible grasp, my world would fall into its imperfect place. I knew that once he touched me with the gift of desirable love, i would never be found here on earth.

I have never felt so whole, yet so incomplete; so innocent, yet so guilty. Never have i felt so much love in such a small heart.

I felt like a fool for falling for the most perfect imperfection. His beauty captured me in ways unimaginable to those who breath.

There is no going back, and no escaping from what actually and finally came to be. I could never be myself again because every time he touched me, he walked away with a piece of my heart.

To think like myself

A woman always told me that life is not what it seems to be. She said one day i will wake up to realize that this was never a dream. That i walk, breath, talk and look like every other human being on earth, and that no matter what nothing will change that. She was right. I walk, look, speak, and breath just like everyone else, but that does not make me to be like everyone else. I am looked at and compared to the person next to me, when i am absolutly nothing like him. My eyes tell a greater story and my thoughts only scream to be different, but no one seems to notice.
Strange. Everyone is so consumed inside the idea of "no difference" that nothing is changing inside. Everyone is trapped inside another thought that their own cannot break free. It is truly amazing.
Amazing is the perfect way to describe the stupidity and thoughtlessness of those who stalk this planet eveyone calls earth. there is such and attraction to be just like her, to think just like her, talk like her, when there is nothing, and every part of the body, every spark in every thought compares absolutly nothing to hers. Why be like her, when she is everyone else?
I was once a little child, who desired to be the twin of my so called best friend, when one day i realized that no one would know my name. And when the woman told me i was to be just like my neighbour, just like my teacher, that i was to be of this world and everyone esle who was a part of this place they so called home, i refused to believe her. I could not allow her words to invite themselves in comfortably, and convinced me that i was a nothing because everyone else was like me, and i was like everyone else.
i could feel deep inside a spark of some kind telling me that i was the only one. that there could be no other me. and no matter how hard i tried to be like the world, i could not bring myself to be just like them.

I Am

I walk among you. I maybe the One sitting in the corner. Or I Am the bird that glares at you through the window. I see you. I look at with passion in My eyes. But your head is always turning away. I've tried to touch you, but My Hand only slips past you. Sometimes I hear you call My name, I see your tears, and I hold you. Then instead of turning to smile, you turn to laugh, and walk away.

I might be the One who kisses you goodnight. I can even be the stranger you choose to ignore, but you look at Me, and you know I'm there. I watch you from a distance, and I admire you. Many times, you choose to tell them that you don't know who I Am. And then you cry the same lonely night, and I Am crying next to you.

Maybe I'm that dog you see every day. Sometimes I can be the butterfly that lands on your nose. I could be the little kid that wants to be your friend. I Am the guilt that dwells in your body, after you have abandoned everything that ever meant most to Me. Despite the anger, the hate, and the unforgiving, I still hold an unconditional love for you in My heart. I still wait for you to turn around and see Me.

Beauty in the dark

His eyes are piercing me. I am a prisoner, I cannot escape. It can't stop. They keep calling my name, haunting, begging, and pleading for me to keep looking. I'm mezmorized. I can't stop. I find myself drowning, unable to reach the surface, when I look into his eyes. The air is stripped from my body when I am wrapped in this amazing place. I want to cry and scream for something to come save me, but I am unable to open my lips and simply sing. I find myself in such an erotic sense. My body yearns for this, but my mind says no. My mind is attempting with every bit it has to stop, to break free and remove myself from this persuasion. But I cannot let go. I am unable to tear from this. Unable realize that I have been consumed in something so powerful, I no longer exist in my own sense, but that I am somewhere else.

She is a liar

She's a liar. A hypocrite that stalks down the halls of her school, with a fake smile painted across her face. Her friends love her, teachers adore her, and boys drool over her. She's not what people think. She hides a deep secret, buried with in her heart, aching with ever passing day. She thinks she's a nobody
Her grades in school are decent. She doesn't know if she wants to go to college. She attends church with her family every Sunday, prays for God to take her life, and still, no response. Even though she wears a cross around her neck, she doesn't believe God hears her.
Friends admire her, and think she lives a "perfect" life, but she knows her friends are the ones dwelling in paradise. She walks around school acting like a princess, when she feels like caged bird, living in her own prison. People see her as a somebody.
She lives in a hell. With a stepmother always abusing her and a father regularly raping her. She lives a life far from perfect. She has no brothers and no sisters, but she keeps a serpent in her closet. She wants death.
Her friends lover her parents and enjoy the house. Parents put on a plastic smile to play along with their paper life. Their life runs like Shakespeare play.

She's a tall young lady. Takes good care of herself, dresses properly, and uses appropiate language. She dates to find comfort and hide from her real world, but no boy can understand the pain she faces. Running aways was attemped, but failed. Her life is secretive.
She's embarrassed of herself. When she looks in the mirror she sees a dirty, filty, disobedient person. Yet she is completely the oppisite. She tires the best at everthing she does, but still, she feels like a failure.
She's never been congradulated on her work, studies, or exams. Her parents never tell her they love her and never have. She prays for them everynight, asks God to forgive them. She's always told she's worthless, no use, and a waste of space. Committing suiside is not an answer for her. She might doubt herself, yet she deep down feels the need to live. But she's still trying to find what it is she's living for.